Why I Cant Get anything done...fuck!

Been ages since I wrote on here and I've missed it so i'm back!

Loads of reasons why I havent blogged in ages, some i want to go into in a seperate article with some pics etc of my experiences shooting a film in Cuba, The play tour I've just been on but the main reason Its took me so long is this blog has been on my list of things to do for ages and that's the problem, I have a list. A Loooooooong list.

Not because I have a particularly demanding lifestyle or job (I do have that -at times!) Its because I am a self aware procrastinator. I'm a person that knows I put things off to do things far less but more instantly gratifying. Instead of sitting and making all the phone calls or sending the letters I have a tendency to watch an hour or three of Youtube.

Its ok when I'm watching a film or something as I can put it down to "Research" but when i find myself watching 15 videos of Boris Johnson making a dick of himself I have no excuse. Although that's a bad example, there is always a reason to watch Bo Jo.

So This habit of mine comes down to the fact I have too many things to do and not enought time to do them, and that's because I never get to completing any one of them as as soon as Im 5 minutes into the previous cunting task my brain has decided to move onto the next one, leaving me in a sort of desperate overwhelmed feeling! (This is a pic of my desk as evidence)

So a 'lil monkey advised me (and I quote) ;

"maybe try making one list not 17 bits written on yellow post its. and only try completing like 3 tasks a day youre always like today im gonna sort out contracts for something, clean my entire flat, email the world and his wife about stuff, pay bills, cure cancer and find a new energy source humans can live on. it's just too much for you to do."

So thanks to that I am doing just that. I am gonna set 3 tasks to complete and make sure they get done at least, then at anything else I find time for, including curing cancer, is a bonus. which Is nice.

So this is my first task off the list - Tomorrow tune in at my Twitter ( @Jamesalexandrou) for a live photo blog of my day.

Also Here is a film reccommendation for today - let me know what you think (look out for the late sometimes great Chris Penn in a standout performance.)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116378/


As Usual this is a random writing exercise with minimal editing so apologies for its latent disregard for correct English or structure...... LATERS!

An early Xmas Gift

Merry Xmas and all that...

Just a little present from my private collection of random crap on cameras and computers over here.

Suppose if you like it we could arrange to do more.... let me know.

Can you love someone without ever meeting them? I love this man...

No Rhyme or reason to this post, just felt like it.

David Attenborough. If I could see into the future and see that I have achieved a nth of what this great person has I would know that my life was worth it.

If there is a person who has done more for education I don't know them. To be able to make fox's interesting and relevent to my life and my being alive is astonishing.

Not much else to say but a sentiment quoted from Mr.Attenborough when asked about his status of an Agnostic "My view is: I don't know one way or the other but I don't think that evolution is against a belief in God."

There you are, random but true. Is it possible to love someone without ever having met them?

Few things started it

I am a member of a chain email group thing which is basically a load of mates who kill time at work by talking about stuff. Usually mundane. Usually about some obscure cricket player who plays on the reserve team on the isle of wight or something. Occasionally things get a bit more interesting however and a flurry of emails went flying around concerning a friend of mine from school who joined up to the army at the earliest opportunity and has since been serving our country abroad. This old friend had posted a status update on Facebook about a week ago which I will paste here word for word (apart from his name)...

"...Thinks the amount of Anti-Soldiers groups on facebook is a FUCKING joke i wonder how quick a KILL EVERY FUCKING MUSLIM SHIT CUNT group would get kicked off Facebook! If people dont like the sacrifice our troops are making then GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY COUNTRY ! NO FUCKING MUSLIMS can be trusted as the 5 lads in Afghan have paid the ultimate price ! RIP Lads !"

...Ok. So thats that. On first read its pretty shocking and actually still is. Upon reading this I started to rush through a reply -

"To every person that has served our country - thank you.

B**** you have done something that I could never do. You must have seen things that I would never wish to. I dont know what seeing people that I love die in front of me would do to me because thank fuck its never happened to me.

I fucking love this country. I'd like to say I would die for it but I don't think I could. ... Read more

Dont really know how to respond to your post really, but i feel like I should. I suppose some at home cunt like me who has had a nice warm comfortable life while our boys and girls are over there giving everything should just stay quiet.

I think i can understand where your coming from, even though I know I could never know the dog shit horrible things you've obviously been through.

Suppose its useless saying I think to tar all Muslims -or as your post commenters said "Paki's" or "shit skins" with the same brush is idiotic and small minded. Think your exposure to people from the middle east has been a world away from mine.

Im doing a lot of supposing, thats all I can do. Things are in a shit state of affairs. I don't like racism. I dont like idiotic replies to someones obvious heartfelt - if not rage fueled post. Fuck 5 more lads? makes me angry and Im a civvie.

If I was fighting in a country far from home, fighting to liberate the country and my mates were being killed by inhabitants of that county AND living day to day with the possibility that I might die next - I think It would make me rageful and angry and personally think it would fuck with my head. If i put it like that then I can sympathise with your views that no Muslims can be trusted. I dont agree with that view, or the views of some of your replies but I can understand how angry and hard done by you must feel.

I think your more intelligent then that. I hope its a view that you posted through anger and hate for seeing people you know die and not actually because you think no Muslim or "Paki" or "Shit skin" can be trusted, because frankly thats bollocks.

Don't remember you being that way back in the old school days though mate. Hope your well, and the family. Let me know when your back in chingford and if your around maybe you can put me straight over a drink or something."

as I was about to post I phoned another friend of mine to discuss. What ensued was a heated debate centered mainly on whether one could sympathise with someones views such as the above even though we could never truly know what fighting in a war and seeing your mates die in front of you is like. I argued that it seemed to me that the dehumanisation that you must go through to be able to kill another person would inevitably lead you down a road of "us and them". The ability to kill another person, I assume, Is part of your remit as a soldier at war, to deal with this - so I have been told and read previously - involves dehumanising the enemy as so to be in a position to kill efficiently when the time comes. On top of this, I argued, seeing mates that you serve with being killed on an almost daily basis must further emphasise this gap between "Us and them" and I could understand, emotionally, that that would fuck with my head and somehow further enforce any moronic prejudices that may have been thrown up through the process of being in another country and fighting and having your life threatened and having to deal with the fact that you too need to be able to pull a trigger.

My friend argued with me that we could not possibly sympathise as we have not been through the experience that this soldier friend has. We haven't lost mates on a daily basis and that In this age of facebook, twitter, wikipedia, worldwide news coverage and information on tap that a modern day soldier cannot be exonerated from retaining moronic views such as those in the status update.

I dont think its as simple as that. No matter what information is there I think serving my country at war is a bloody complicated job. The physical stress is nothing compared to the mental. The appropriating your mentality and feelings to the job in hand is not something we are evolved for and Its no wonder someone has the views such as the post above. But yes I don't know what I'm talking about really, I haven't been through it. Imagining it isn't the same as living it and I wish I never have to.

I do think I should try and understand these views, and where they come from otherwise I'm just creating an "Us and them" between me and the people who have those views. Like them or not they are humans too.... obviously.

Besides all that, Well done to everyone who serves this country, I couldn't do it.

AH, fell at the first hurdle didnt i?

Been a hectic couple of weeks and would've been great to keep updated here on whats been going on as I think it would've served as an interesting insight into how these things work... or maybe it would've been boring. Will never know....
What I will do is give a summary. It will have to be over the weekend however as I am completley bloody shattered, despite having agreed to play 5 aside tonight with a Jewish league team (really should tell more about this - actually hilarious) maybe ill include some anecdotes on tonights farce of a game...

anyway, undecipherable as this is its all i got right now.

In the words of Russell Brand, Love you bye, love you bye.

Coming up........

So, I been trying to come up with a solid reason to blog regularly. I have random passions that would suit for the occasional outburst of typing energy, and i think thats the best way to write these things, randomly and passionately.

To contradict myself, however, I think i have come up with a way in which I could sustain a constant flow of this stuff in my brain onto this here blog.

For the 2 or so years I felt I had a lot to prove. I was a soap actor. I was a young soap actor. I was paid generously. I worked a fuckload. I hadn't gone through the stage school/drama school system. I had a working class accent/background similar to that to EE.

I was angry, confused, confident and naive. And I knew it (see blog "why did you leave..."). I knew I had a lot to learn and set about in doing that. I enrolled In classes. I turned down all TV work. I felt by sticking to theatre I would gain a knowledge and credibility never before afforded me, and to a certain extent It did.

So this year I felt it was time that I tried a little return to TV work and again set about in implementing that. I auditioned for stuff. I auditioned badly for stuff. The baggage of soapland still I carried. Not that anyone else made me feel that, It was me.

Anyway, long story short, I let my head get in the way of my heart and consequently I had become a fucking shitty actor - I resorted to cheap tricks and not believing a thing I was doing. It's deadly for an actor.

Then I was awoken to a new way of acting. A new technique (for me) - The Meisner Technique.

Again long story short, I have my first TV job for a while coming up and am feeling quite neurotic about the whole thing and I thought It may be an interesting read for me to blog the process of working on a character.

So for the next little while I'll let you know whats going on and how I approach things, analyse a script, accent, physicality, preparations etc etc etc...

For now you can know that I am in the process of confirming the job and then we can all get started...

J.A

Neils reading of the blog...

Coming soon, Neil Silverman with his interpretation and review of this blog.

Sounds weird but if the test run yesterday is anything to go by its going to possibly be the funniest thing ever witnessed. Even funnier the Del Boy falling through a bar, or David Brent dancing or something.

J.A